I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
