Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
