hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
