Where did you get a picture of my penis
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
