when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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