So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
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he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I love you. Go after that dick
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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