Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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