Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a naked man in my car right now.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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