garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
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