I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
