Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I feel like abortions should bother me more
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
