Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
