pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
