Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
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Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
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We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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