the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
