I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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