was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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