Got a toothbrush?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
