It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
