I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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