I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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