This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
