Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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