Why are handjobs necessary in class?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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