That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
