so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
