I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
P.S. I can't hear my feet
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
