I think I can smell my own vagina right now
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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