C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
