I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
high people should be assigned attendants
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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