my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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