And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
