Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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