I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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