David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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