I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
