Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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