i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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