what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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