Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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