Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
