You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
