i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
