She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
