I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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