The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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