it was like eating out sand paper
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
