i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize