I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
