New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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