they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
operation harelip BJ is a go
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
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You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
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If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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