I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize