It was confusing and full of hummus
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
