I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
