at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
