Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
