hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
