my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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