She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize